


Just a Little Bickering

by cliffordsdream



Series: Without a Clue [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Physical Disability, Terminal Illnesses, Wheelchairs, literally the relationships mentioned only show up a few times, not an au, not rly a romantic relationship but i still tagged the side pairings, so if you don't like them i promise u can only see them when u squint, the twin isn't like marcel but he is harry's identical twin (not named edward thank god !!!), this is rly a fic about harry and his sibling's relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-03 08:08:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8704399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cliffordsdream/pseuds/cliffordsdream
Summary: He's a freak.Do you think he knows how stupid he looks?I can't believe they even let that idiot come to school.I bet he misses all that school 'cause he's afraid.What a baby.Everyone heard the whispers in the halls; the quiet gossiping in the locker rooms, and everyone knew Hayden Styles was a freak. Looking back now there really wasn't any reason in particular that he was made fun of. His marks were close to perfection, yet he was still called stupid, a loser, an idiot. Of course no one knew of his grades then. They just assumed that he was incompetent of having a good education because he seemed to have missed more school than he attended. Of course I always knew he'd grow up to do great things.This is his story. or the one where harry has a twin with a disability named hayden and growing up isn't always as easy as people make it out to be.(NOT AN AU (besides the extra brothers) // prequel to my story Without a Clue but completely independent so you can read one and not the other!)





	1. Before (Part One)

  
  
  
  
  
  
Anne couldn't believe what the doctors were telling her, not a single word. As one twin was placed in her arms, she couldn't help but think of the other fighting for his life in the NICU. One healthy, one near death. _It's not fair,_ she thought, tears in her eyes as the baby in her arms pulled on a fallen piece of hair within his reaching distance.

 

When Anne had found herself pregnant with identical twin boys, the word ecstatic couldn't even come to describing how she felt. Who doesn't want _twins?_ Of course, it took a while to sink in that there would need to be twice as many purchases and twice as many hours of sleep lost, but even when she thought about those unpleasant factors, it was all worth it. The nursery down the hall from her and her husband, Des's, room was soon filled to the brim with little blue and green things: shoes, clothes, toys, furniture, _everything,_ and nothing could destroy the happiness those twins brought to them even before their birth.

 

Anne grew and grew until today, the first of February, when the Styles twins decided they no longer wanted to live in their tight little home; it must have been exceptionally cramped considering two babies were squeezed into the small quarters. Everyone was extremely excited for the twins' arrival, especially Gemma, their four year old sister. She'd been saying all the way to the hospital how she was going to be the best big sister ever, but only if they didn't smell too bad like the boys at her daycare center.

 

Everything was fine, that is, until Hayden was born. Harry was the first twin and came out with lungs of steel, screaming from his first breath. He'd been seven pounds and eight ounces. Hayden was next. The doctors had been expecting him to be slightly lighter than Harry. The scans Anne had a month earlier showed Hayden being a little smaller than his now older brother, but they never could have predicted this.

 

Little Hayden Alexander Styles was born at 12:47 p.m., an exact hour after his older brother, and three pounds lighter. Both the twins had been diagnosed with a very mild form of Acute Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome, or TTTS as the doctors called it, at birth, where one twin has a greater blood and nutrient circulation causing the other to be deprived of many essentials. The doctors had explained that the lack of nutrients had caused Hayden to be less developed than Harry, and his blood pressure was far too low. They feared his tiny little heart would give out before he saw his first sunset.

 

Of course, the syndrome had also affected Harry. He'd been born with high blood pressure, but after a full heart checkup it had been decided that his heart was functioning of perfectly with the exception of a small heart murmur, and only two hours after his birth, he passed all of his tests with flying colors and was returned to Anne.

 

Hayden hadn't been so lucky. Along with TTTS, he was born with minor Spina Bifida, a birth defect where the vertebrae of the spine does not meet and cover the spinal cord, and also a tethered spinal cord, where his spinal cord had been fused to bone in his lower back. He'd been slightly lucky though; most cases of Spina Bifida were much more severe than what Hayden had. It was the tethered cord combined with the Spina Bifida that had caused the problems.

 

He'd never walk, never swim, never dance. He'd never be a normal child, not really. Without releasing his spinal cord from the bone surrounding it, he'd be paralyzed from possibly as far as the upper chest down for his entire life. The only solution was surgery, one that could cause his weak heart to give out. There was no nerve damage that they saw, so the procedure could be successful in preventing paralysis, if done just right.

 

The best neurosurgeon in the UK was flown down the following day, and the smallest full term baby in the hospital that day had surgery for the first time.

 

 

•

 

 

 _It's a miracle,_ that's all the doctors could say. Honestly, they never thought Hayden would live past a few hours, but there he was, three days old and still fighting. He had lived through his first surgery and was being monitored in the NICU indefinitely. Hayden, however, wasn't the twin causing the most problems. Harry never slept and cried near constantly. At first, the doctors believed he also had some form of Spina Bifida, but after another series of tests it was concluded that Harry wasn't sick. No, he was perfectly healthy, but no one, not even the doctors, could get him to stop crying.

 

It was a nursing student who had saved the day. A study she was doing at her university was about twins, and their need to be close to one another after birth. In the study, twins that were put in the same crib after birth, swaddled next to each other, or simply held together were much happier and healthier than the others. At first, it raised concern with the doctors. Hayden was fragile and ill. Placing Harry and Hayden together could possibly cause Hayden even further amounts of complications, yet maybe it would increase his health too.

 

After careful consideration, Anne and Des watched as Harry was placed in his younger brother's crib. The two were observed for hours on end, and it was finally decided--once both small newborns had successfully and quietly napped and snuggled together for over six hours--that Harry was never to be separated from his other half.

 

Soon enough, Harry was thriving. He no longer cried all hours of the day, and his heart murmur had completely disappeared. Hayden also was getting stronger. His spine was healing at a rate that the doctors had never seen on a child so small with such bad blood circulation, and eventually, he also learned to sob when his brother's presence couldn't be felt. The duo were famous around the hospital, the nurses often saying they were similar to a single child, always crying and sleeping at the same times. They were always touching each other in some way, most times just leant up against each other as they slept.

 

It was when the twins were six days old that the moment everyone knew was coming finally arrived. Hayden had been fussy for the first part of the seventh of February , but as the day went on, he got quieter and quieter. Eventually, the nurses became worried when he wasn't crying for anything: food, water, or even to be held. That's when his heart rate slowed, and they knew something was off. Harry was quickly separated from his twin, and Anne and Des were called to the NICU. Something was wrong with their youngest child; _something._

 

They immediately gave every test under the sun to the little baby, but they couldn't find anything, that is, until one of his tests showed abnormal fluid in his lower back. There was a large pool of spinal fluid leaking into the area around the base of his spine, causing his brain to swell. If they didn't operate soon, his brain would start to bleed and he'd be gone before they could do anything about it. He already had low blood pressure, and any more blood loss would be incredibly dangerous for the small child.

 

Again, the decision to let Hayden have an operation was made, and the Styles could only hope that their smallest child would live to experience everything that life has to offer. They wanted him to live, if not for them then for Harry; it was obvious he'd suffer just as much as them from the loss.

 

It was quiet in the waiting room. Every so often someone would cry tears of despair or happiness, but Anne and Des were still waiting, Harry fussing lightly in Anne's arms. It was apparent he wasn't happy that he'd been separated from his twin, but deep down the parents knew they could never be together again, that is until Hayden got better. And he would get better; they knew it.

 

It seemed as if all of their silent prayers had paid off, because an hour later, they received the news that Hayden survived his surgery. Who knows how many more he'd need, but in that moment, they didn't care. All they cared about was trying to spend all the time they could with all of their children, while they still had all of them.

 

Long days spent in the hospital slowly turned into weeks, and just when the parents felt as if they couldn't take it anymore, they finally were allowed to bring their youngest child home.

 

 

•

 

 

The next few months were a learning process.

 

While Harry thrived and met all of his developmental milestones, Hayden clearly lagged behind. Intellectually, he was ahead of Harry, babbling more clearly and seemingly understanding short phrases months before his twin. However, when Harry had mastered crawling around the house, Hayden was just learning to sit up by himself.

 

It worried Anne, of course. The doctors had assured her that Hayden should be healed; he should have regained most if not all of his movement with the lightening of the pressure on his nerves from his most recent surgery. At ten months old, however, Hayden still couldn't support his own weight with his legs while holding hands for balance, a skill mastered by his brother four months prior.

 

This most recent surgery had put untold stress on the family for funds. To say that they'd be in debt for the rest of their lives was an understatement. They quite literally couldn't afford for this surgery to have been a failure. After a trip to Hayden's neurologist, they found that the surgery had been counterintuitive. What was meant to allow his nerves to regain their function and let him move his legs with ease had caused them to be in even worse shape. It wasn't the surgeon's fault, Hayden's body just hadn't reacted as they would have liked. With no solution even yet discovered to fix the damage the surgery had caused, Hayden, at eleven months old, was condemned to life of pain and a wheelchair. He would never learn to walk.

 

 

•

 

 

Over time the pain gets worse. By five years old, Hayden is fully aware of the dull ache always present in his lower back that sometimes makes it's way to as far as his toes. From medications to three more surgeries, the Styles' tried anything and everything to manage the pain, each previous attempt slightly less successful than the next. Even when they found a routine that seemed to work, it wasn't perfect: the side affects of the medicine made Hayden less social and took away his appetite, sometimes making him nauseas. It's all they had though, and the Styles finally found their new normal, even if _their_ normal wasn't very normal.

 

Everything seemed to be going fine until it wasn't. As much as they'd hate to admit it, the family was drowning in debt. Before all of these problems with Hayden, they had been well off, never really having to worry about paying the bills or budgeting too strictly. Now, it seemed as if every month they were going to go under, but they just managed to slip by. Anne started working two jobs and Des picked up more hours for overtime. It seemed as if they never saw each other, and when they did, it was like two ships passing in the night, Anne trying to fit in a quick nap as Des left for a graveyard shift that pays double. It was difficult, but the kids were happy, and that's all that Anne really wanted. Hayden was smiling more often than not, and it made Anne feel like all of their hard work was paying off.

 

The Styles ended up qualifying for some financial aid through a charity not long after that. The grant pays off a lot of Hayden's original bills, leaving the Styles to only provide for any future treatment that Hayden might need, including all of his current medications. It's exactly what they needed and Anne could quit her jobs to spend plenty more time with her children, who seemed to have grown up far too fast.

 

As much as Anne and Des tried to go back to the way they were before all of this happened, it didn't seem possible. There was just something missing. Their conversations were no longer enjoyable and they never seemed to get all along. Something seemed to be missing, and Anne was determined to figure it out.

 

After a few weeks, Anne realized that their lives were not going to shift back into the old pattern naturally. After much debate she had decided, quite instantly actually, that the solution to her marital problems was really quite simple: a new baby. The twins' birth had been so problematic that it threw everything off. Maybe, a new, easy baby would put everything back on track. Des loved kids too, nothing made him happier. Maybe the could reconnect if there was another baby to bond over. This really was the solution, she thought, and later that night when she brought it up to Des, he couldn't help but agree.

 

 

•

 

 

Having another baby was not the answer to any of the problems the Styles' had. Not long after their fourth child was born, they had very quickly realized that they were no longer compatible with one another. Having another child didn't help their marriage, it nearly destroyed it, but they did their best to stay together. They brought another child into the world and it was their responsibility to give him the same close-knit family their older children had grown to adore. However, by the time he was ten months old, their divorce was finalized.

 

 

•

 

 

At around seven years old, other children started to notice Hayden was different. He was quiet and frail looking, and couldn't participate in most of the activities that other kids his age were involved in. It worried Anne, of course, but luckily Harry never seemed to leave Hayden's side, even if it meant sitting out of a game that his brother couldn't participate in. However, they did come up with a sort of way that Hayden could join in games that were too physical for him; Harry would simply _be_ him. Every point Harry scored would be awarded to Hayden, every ball kicked or thrown, every race won. Harry played for the both of them, and he wouldn't have it any other way. Hayden won more kickball games that year than any other child in his grade.

 

 

•

 

 

Oliver Mason Styles was an incredibly difficult child. Anne quickly realized that thinking Hayden cried a lot was obviously a misconception. Oliver whined constantly. He was always fussy, never went to sleep when she wanted him to, and seemed to get sick every other day. The kid was just a challenge, and as Des had moved out, leaving the children with Anne, she took care of him all by herself.

 

She began working again not long after Oliver's birth, and got a nanny for the children to come home to after school, who watched Oliver at all times, sometimes even when Anne was home and had to get some work done. She spent even less time with her children than she did before, and they noticed long before she did.

 

It wasn't really that obvious until she had come home early from work one afternoon and Oliver simply refused to go to her. He cried when Anne tried to hold him, obviously preferring his nanny to his mother. She realized then that she didn't know much about her youngest child. She didn't know his favorite stuffed animal or what he wanted when he cried.

 

That was only the beginning. Anne started realizing the effects of her work on her older boys when Oliver was around sixteen months old. She didn't know that Harry quit the school rugby team and she didn't know that he was having problems with reading at school. She also didn't know that Hayden had begun to be picked on at school, and even though Harry never let someone pick on his other half when he was around, the twins weren't together for the whole day, leaving Hayden vulnerable.

 

Anne knew she had to do something, but quitting work was not an option. Since the divorce they had been struggling for funds. She would figure it out eventually, for her children.

 


	2. Before (Part Two)

I suppose Hayden has always had a bit of talent that was never really like mine. His talent was the way he cared so much for people. His talent was the way he made everyone around him feel so special. He made me feel special. I suppose that's the beauty in it all; Hayden's talent, far unlike mine, was worth far more than anyone could have ever realized.

 

 

 

•

 

 

 

When the twins were eleven, the Styles family was given heartbreaking news. Oliver, who they had been calling Ollie since near birth, was diagnosed with cancer. It wasn't necessarily unexpected; he had been ill for some time. Ollie was always throwing up or feeling nauseous, slept far too much, and eventually stopped wanting to eat. It was worrying, of course, but by the time they took Ollie to the doctor, the cancer that had started as a tumor in one of his kidneys had spread throughout his body. Ollie, a child with bright green eyes that were filled with so much ambition and adventure, would not make it to his sixth birthday.

It was difficult. Ollie's medical bills continued to pile up, but the family simply refused to give up because of that. They took out loans, borrowed money from friends and family members; they did everything they could to keep Ollie going. No matter how much money they collected, however, that didn't bring them kidneys to replace those that Ollie lost. Early on, the kidney that had initially grown the tumor was removed, as the tumor was far too extensive to even begin to remove without detrimentally harming the organ anyways. Eventually his other kidney also fell into decay, and they had no choice but to remove it as well, leaving the now tiny, fragile child completely dependent on machines to clean his blood.

It didn't work. Ollie hardly responded to any efforts made to artificially clean his blood, a rare but not unheard of reaction. He needed a transplanted kidney quickly, although chemotherapy would most likely destroy it. 

One week before Ollie's sixth birthday, they got the call that not only would Ollie be receiving a kidney, he would be getting _two_. No one else young enough within transporting distance matched the kidneys, meaning that if Ollie didn't get both, one would simply be thrown away. As Ollie had a high chance of rejecting the transplant, they decided to merely give him both. It was risky, but Ollie was deteriorating rapidly. He would die within weeks without the procedure.

 

He made it to his sixth birthday, and by his seventh, his body was free of cancer.

 

 

 

•

 

 

 

Life normalized again, except for the fact the Styles family was no longer well-off, and wouldn't be for quite some time. Gemma went off to university, leaving Ollie to annoy just the twins. The six year age difference between the twins and Ollie definitely hindered their relationship a bit. He was always a bit too young to understand anything at all, at least to Harry, who got frustrated with the small boy easily despite how much he loved his youngest brother.

At sixteen, the twins were still inseparable. Of course they didn't have to be around each other at all times, but they definitely were still best mates in every sense of the word. Hayden never let his immobility limit him, and Harry helped with that as well. If a business wasn't wheelchair accessible, then as far as Harry was concerned he wasn't allowed to be a customer either. Even when Hayden had particularly painful days and would miss school, Harry would as well. It was a bit of a problem, really, especially when Harry started doing so without telling his mother. Hayden had two surgeries just as the twins turned sixteen, and Harry spent every night with him in that hospital, faithfully tagging along to every single checkup afterwards as well.

In the early summer, Hayden's doctor called. His recent scans showed he might be a good candidate for an experimental surgery, _a surgery that might give Hayden the ability to walk._ He'd never thought it was even a possibility. Going to bed the night of the call was so difficult, especially since Hayden couldn't stop asking Harry what it was like to do all the things he'd never dreamed of doing before. Harry, being a lanky, clumsy mess of a boy, of course, didn't really know what it was like to dance. Swimming is fun though, Harry had said, along with ice skating and swinging and sometimes even running, although usually not that one.  Hayden went to sleep dreaming of a day when he would get to run too, a dream that might just become reality.

The thing about experimental surgeries, well, insurance doesn't pay for them. That's what Anne was trying to tell Hayden. He was hysterical of course, sobbing loudly and demanding that something be done. They could figure out _something_ to pay for the surgery, right? No, they couldn't, not while still paying off all of Ollie's terribly expensive bills. Maybe if Ollie hadn't gotten sick, _maybe_ , they could afford it. Ollie did get sick though, and even though Hayden loved his little brother just as much as he loved Harry, he wished in that moment that the little boy with bright green eyes would've never been born. When nine-year-old Ollie gave Hayden all the money in his tiny piggy bank and asked if it was enough to pay for the surgery, however, Hayden had never felt more regret for a thought in his life. Maybe he'd never walk, but he'd _always_ be a big brother. He decided then that if the reason that he'd never get out of his wheelchair was because his baby brother was still alive, he'd never complain about it again.

 

 

 

•

 

 

 

Harry auditioned for the X-Factor. Yeah, he liked to sing, loved it, but not as much as he loved his brother. That cash prize would be enough to cover quite a bit of the Styles family's expenses. It would give Anne a bit of time to take off work to care for Hayden after his surgery. Harry had to win, though. He didn't think he was a bad singer, but he wasn't particularly amazing, not when compared to the rest of the country and Ireland. He needed to win though, far more than any other person in the country.

Harry's story was aired along with his audition and support came flooding in for him. People liked him. If only he could make it to live shows maybe he'd have a chance. Maybe people wouldn't vote for him, but they'd vote for Hayden. It reminded him of primary school, when Hayden got every point awarded to Harry in every single game. Only this time, if Hayden won, he'd get a far better prize than some superhero stickers.

When Harry didn't make it past the final round at boot camp, his whole world shattered. He just wanted this for his brother. He wanted to scream. He wanted to yell at those who made it through and beg them to drop out. He didn't deserve this opportunity, no, but Hayden did. Hayden deserved to walk. Harry cried. He cried harder than he ever thought he could. Other boys cried as well but Harry almost wanted to be bitter, wanted to scream at them and tell them their tears meant nothing, that he cried for his brother and as far as he was concerned every other person in that competition was one more person who didn't want his brother to get out of that goddamned wheelchair.

When his named was called and he walked back on that stage, they told him he was through; his heart nearly burst. He was so excited. Even if he had to share the prize with the other boys he was grouped with, he didn't care. Maybe if they were successful they could make even more money, maybe help pay for some of Ollie's bills as well.

 

 

 

•

 

 

 

 

Living apart from Hayden was hard. Harry'd never been away from him for that long before. Harry tried to remind himself that he was doing this for his family, for his brother's dream. A few weeks after living in the X-Factor house, however, he became easily aware of how close he was getting to the other boys in his group. They'd decided to name themselves _One Direction_ , a name suggested by Harry's more charming half, Hayden. It made Harry miss his twin even more. Every time their group name was announced, he could only think about how lonely he was, but that this was all for Hayden. This was all for him.

Hayden had a similar experience. Watching Harry have the time of his life on the television was such an odd experience. People liked Harry, they always have, always will. Hayden missed Harry more than anything else. It was hard to watch Harry push himself so hard just for Hayden. Hayden wanted Harry to win, not only for himself, but because Harry had _talent._ This is what Harry was meant to do, and even though that's not necessarily why he entered the competition, Hayden knew Harry could do great things.

Six weeks into the live competition, Harry desperately needed his twin. It was so difficult living apart, even though Harry had become fast friends with most everyone in his group and the competition in general, and he'd always been decently social. It was bothering him so much, even his mentor noticed. Out of sympathy for the pair of twins, and also the interest he thought it would add to the show, Simon invited Hayden to live at the X-Factor house for the remainder of Harry’s time on the show. After all, Hayden was technically the one competing if you looked at it the way the twins did. 

Anne was not thrilled with the idea. Hayden was still recovering from his last surgery, and needed complicated medications multiple times a day. Hayden and Harry were persistent, though, just as always, and she eventually gave in. Hayden was definitely old enough to manage his own medications, and the twins were responsible enough for their age. Maybe having Hayden there could get the boys more votes, putting a face, no matter how similar to Harry's, to the idea of what Harry was trying to do.

 

 

 

 •

 

 

 

They didn't win. Harry supposed third wasn't awful, but it wasn't a win, and they didn't get any money. Harry was torn. Hayden seemed happy for him, he did, but it was obvious he was disappointed. Why wouldn't he be? Walking was something that Hayden simply _dreamed_ about for his entire life. It was so close, but not quite close enough.

The next day, though, all of the boys, including Hayden, were summoned to Simon's record label. One Direction got a record deal, Hayden got his surgery. Simon said the story had touched his heart, and Harry had tried his best. That amount of effort, that amount of love, should be rewarded. Of course deep down both the twins knew that it was just a big publicity stunt for Simon. He would look like such an amazing person if he did this for them. They didn't complain, though. Harry was getting his dream, and so was Hayden. Maybe Harry's deal would pay off some of Ollie's bills too. Maybe they could send him to a really good school, and pay for Gems' university. Harry hoped it would work out. Even if it didn't, Hayden was getting his legs, and that was all that really mattered to Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this section is a bit short but it's really just a continuation of the last chapter!! please comment your thoughts it's really helpful !! xx

**Author's Note:**

> thoughts ???


End file.
